Question for Betty.

I find myself unhappy, mostly at night time.  I can go from having a great day to being sad and lonely at night.  Sometimes I cling on to my boyfriend and he gets annoyed.  When I make plans with a friend I feel more confidant and excited and when they fall through, I run back to my boyfriend.  I want to make new friends but at 25 I don't feel like it is possible.  I feel like when I was 22/23 I was more confident, had a clearer outlook on my life.  Now I feel lost, lonely, boring, and agitated most of the time.  Do I need to see a counselor?

Betty's Answer.

A counselor may be helpful in exploring your feelings.  You have noticed a change in the past few years in how you feel.  Life structure may look different at age 25.  You may have different goals, responsibilities and relationships.  You identify your relationship with your boyfriend as "clinging" at times, which you see as annoying him, and if habitual may not be part of a healthy relationship.

Making new friends is a great idea, and indeed possible at any age.  Exploring interests and hobbies with others can expand your social network. You may want to look at how you are spending your day. Are you a student and/or working?  Are your coping okay with our dark and cold winter in Anchorage? You are not alone if you are having difficulty coping with winter. Are you exercising daily?  This really helps in feeling well.  What is your sleep pattern; are you getting enough or too much sleep?  What is your dietary intake; are you eating healthy foods and limiting caffeine, fast foods, alcohol and sweets?

These are questions which you may want to explore with a counselor.  If you are an eligible UAA student you may call the Student Health and Counseling Center at 907-786-4040 to set up an appointment.  Or, if you are not a UAA student, you may want to contact a health care provider for further assistance.