Question for Betty.

My boyfriend cheated on me a few years ago and right after he did, he told the girl he was sorry but she had to go and he had made a big mistake.  He showed the "signs" of cheating for a week and then told me about it.  Years have gone by and I've gotten over it for the most part, but for some reason I find myself insecure.  He's been really patient with me asking him if he's cheated on me again, but now he's to the point where he gets upset.  Is he annoyed with me or is this him getting defensive because he feels guilty?  He tells me where he is at all times, and he never hides his phone or anything like that.  He even goes into details about where he's been and who he talked to on a regular basis.  I feel like I may just be making things up in my mind and going after him, but then again, what if he is doing something?

Betty's Answer.

Thank you for your heartfelt question.  This is a hard situation for both of you. Trust is hard to rebuild. You still are not sure that you can trust your boyfriend. Our intuition is an important part of who we are, but it may or may not be giving you unneeded worry in this case. Your partner has shown evidence of faithfulness in the past two years. You closely monitor his activities and he reports details of interactions with others. You both appear to want this to be a healthy committed relationship. Have you thought about couples counseling? This would give you guidance on dealing with your trust issues.

If you are an eligible UAA student, you may call the Student Health & Counseling Center to set up an intake appointment with one of the Mental Health Providers.  You may also refer to our website for further on-campus counseling options. 

Congratulations  for identifying a relationship concern and seeking help.