Question for Betty.

My wife and I are in our early 50's.  She recently has gone through menopause and now says she has little to no desire in having sex.  What's a guy to do, that wants to continue having a physical relationship with his wife?

Betty's Answer.

This is a complex question, and I don't have the answer.  Often there are multiple entities affecting ones sexuality.  There may be psychological reasons, relationship transitions, or physiological reasons.  There is no scientific proof that menopause causes a woman to lose her sex drive.  But, this is a common complaint from women. 

However, many women report having the best sex of their lives after menopause; no fear of pregnancy, they may be more knowledgeable about achieving orgasms, and sometimes have more time and privacy in later life.

Libido can also be affected by Seasonal Affective Disorder (it is a very dark, cold time of year), depression, anxiety and stress.  She may be under external pressures affecting her time and interest allocation.  Relationships naturally have ups and downs.

My suggestion is to keep communicating. Share your feelings with your wife and try to create an atmosphere of thoughtfulness, affection and romance. What are the mutual interests and activities that you share? Check out resources such as relationship counseling.  If your wife is unwilling to go to counseling, it still might be helpful for you to seek someone out to help you with this issue.

I wish you the best.